We've trawled the Weibo, so you don't have to - find out what's trending on China's microblogs.

@baby fashion: An old couple celebrated their 60th birthday. God praised the couple as the most "loving couple" and promised to help them realize one of their wishes. The old lady said: "I want to travel around the globe and have a look at the whole world." God waved his hand and a bunch of tickets fell into the old lady's hands. The old man said: "I want to marry a woman who is 30 years younger than me."  God waved his hands and suddenly, the old man became 90 years old.

@Tinnae: A man was starving to death in a desert. At this moment, he found a magic lamp and picked it up. The lamp said: "I can only realize one dream for you. Chop, chop. I am in a hurry." The man said: "I want a wife…." The lamp then brought a beautiful woman to him immediately and said sneeringly: "The man is starving to death but still addicted to women. So pathetic." It disappeared after the words while the man uttered the last word of his request: "…cake."

@kengdie.com: A man walked into a library and asked the librarian to lend him a suicide guide. The librarian said: Go away!! I bet you have no chance to return it!!

@kengdie.com: A woman rented an apartment with a guy. One night, she was so depressed and the guy was very considerate and cooked a bowl of noodles for her. She suddenly felt so loved and said: "Why don't we live like this together?" The guy suddenly said angrily: "You do not have a man to love you but I do!"

@Zhang Shiwu in Jingcheng: In the food street at Sanyuanqiao. The city inspectors came. All of the snack stalls were closed down except the one with foreigners eating around the table.

@Shi Shusi: A psycho got a gun from nowhere and walked into a small alley. Suddenly he met a young man and he pointed the gun to his head and asked: "One plus one equals what?" The man was so scared and answered after pondering: "two." The psycho pulled the trigger and killed him before he said coldly: "You know too much."

@Zhao Dingyang: The UN conducted a very simple survey with only one question: what is your point of view about food shortages in other places in the world? The French cannot answer it because they do not know what the word "shortage" means; The Africans cannot answer it because they do not know what the word "food" means; The Japanese cannot answer it because they do not know what "your point of view" means; neither do Americans, as they have no idea of the meaning of "other places in the world."