A huge Songhua ink table in a Songhua stone museum in Jiangyuan district of Baishan city of northeast China's Jilin province in this photo taken on Thursday, September 8, 2011. Photo: CRI
I met a snake oil salesman today. He seemed like a pretty trustworthy sort, so I bought some of his blueberry jerky.
No, really.
Today was the fourth day of our trip to Jilin. I learned more about inkstones and ginseng than I probably needed to know, but I did see a giant lion made out of tree roots so everything evened out in the end.
Apparently ginseng is more than just a root - there's a plant that grows out of the top of it, and you can tell how old it is by how many stalks it has. It also boosts the immune system and is occasionally used to make medicinal booze. I learned all that during a trip to a ginseng museum. I also learned that it doesn't grant super powers. Not even lame ones like breathing underwater.
In fact, from what I can tell, it's mostly for people with weak immune systems and it isn't necessarily a good idea for young people to eat it. This may explain why it hasn't become a staple of energy drinks like its estranged wacky cousin guarana. See, now that herb gets all the action. (Actually, I don't think they're even related. For one thing, guarana climbs trees instead of hiding underground).
Before visiting the ginseng museum, we visited a Songhua stone museum. What is a Songhua stone you ask? Well, I'm glad you asked, phantom reader. The Songhua stones are actually a variety of stones that come from a certain area of Jilin. They're generally used to make palettes for ink, which is then typically used for calligraphy.
I did find myself a little confused at times though - some of these giant stone ink palettes were bigger than pool tables. How much ink could you possibly need? You could paint an airport with that much ink. They did look mighty impressive though, adorned with fearsome dragons that seemed to be either mating with or eating other dragons.
Upon noticing that the price tag of that particular table was a bit shy of a million yuan I realized that these ink palettes are probably destined to adorn the foyers of corporate headquarters, or the offices of diabolical ink-barons, rather than the studios of struggling artists. Alas.
It was after the museums that we visited a store owned by a snake oil salesman. Actually, he sold dead animal skins too. Come to think of it, it's probably not accurate to call him a snake oil salesman per se, because he sold all kinds of things.
The snake oil (to be honest, it may have been 'snake liquor') and deer head trophies weren't really my thing, but his blueberry chewy thing was mighty tasty.
Thus, having been unable to afford the mighty Songhua-stone dragon ink table, I consoled myself with blueberry treats. There are worse consolation prizes, to be sure. Snake oil, for one.