Moms got to learn to let go

By Kathy De Leye Source:Global Times Published: 2017/9/18 14:18:39

When you live abroad for many years, you start to wonder where your home is. Is the country of your birth still your home country or is it the country you currently live in?

I could never have imagined the impact living in another country would have on my mind and feelings. I still sometimes feel like a stranger in China, albeit less and less so because I consider it my home.

Nowadays, I feel more and more like a stranger in Belgium. People there have their own life and habits, which is now a lot different from mine. It shows in the little things, like when they talk about TV programs or the newest craze in Belgium and I don't know what they are talking about.

They still think I am the same girl who left Belgium, but I have changed a lot. My mind is more open, and I have endured a lot and grown as a person.
My friends and family don't always know how to talk to me. My mother tries to learn as much about my life as possible. But even if tell her everything, talking about it is not the same as experiencing it.

When I am in Belgium, I want to do nice things with my mother. But after a couple of weeks, it causes stress, disillusionment and arguments because she still treats me like a little girl. That little girl has grown up into a strong independent woman who has a different life in another culture.

I understand that it must be hard for her, but mothers need to learn to let their children go and be happy that they brought them up to be confident, successful people.

This is also something that China needs to learn as well, especially mothers with sons. Most men are not independent and can't let go of their mother, and their wives suffer because of it.

It is not so much a cultural thing, but something that happens all over the world. We need to make sure that our relationship with our mother is a healthy one. She needs to allow us to explore the world.

When my mother and I have a good conversation, and I tell her about my life in China, she wants me close to her. But when she sees what I am doing, she is proud and tells me that she wishes she could have done the same thing. At that moment, I see all the unfulfilled dreams she has and that she lives them a bit through me.

This article was published on the Global Times Metropolitan section Two Cents page, a space for reader submissions, including opinion, humor and satire. The ideas expressed are those of the author alone, and do not represent the position of the Global Times.



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