Hardship of a long-distance relationship

By Lisa Hielscher Source:Global Times Published: 2017/12/3 5:03:40

Illustration: Xia Qing/GT


More and more people leave the comfort of their home to go abroad for studies, internships or work and more than one comes home with a new relationship in their luggage with a person who is not from the same city, country or even continent.

Due to modern and new forms of technology, long-distance relationships are easier and more popular since it is less of a challenge to sustain them. And the rise in these relationships has even enhanced the creation of technologies designed specifically to support couples living apart.

But with the geographical distance also come challenges and questions. A long-distance relationship can be a difficult test for a couple. Even though WeChat, Skype, iMessage and all the new forms of communication make it easier to see and communicate with each other on a daily basis, the lack of face-to-face contact can be more than exhausting. And with the desire for physical closeness, other questions and problems can arise. How to finance the trips to see each other? How to not let high expectations of the limited time together reduce the quality of the meetings? How to settle a fight over the phone or over texting?

Through my own experience, I know how important and difficult it is to include your partner in your daily life. Even though that annoying comment from your colleague or the stain on your shirt that just won't come off are not the most exciting news, they are essential to creating intimacy because even though your partner is physically not around you, they should share your daily life matters.

Although long-distance relationships have their exhausting moments - sitting at home after a long and stressful day yelling "Can you hear me? Hello? You hear me?" into your phone - they can also, with all the hardships, have positive sides to them. One is able to be at home in two different cities or even countries because of their partner. In addition, it can be nice to have more time to oneself and concentrate on studies or work. Often, people who have decided to be in a long-distance relationship tell me that they like that the time you spend with your partner is denser, having more time for yourself during the week and an intensive weekend with your partner.

But for most people, a long-distance relationship cannot be a permanent condition. They have to see a light at the end of the tunnel and know a timeframe of how long this state of being apart will last. Also, according to a survey conducted in the US in 2015, most couples start having problems around four and a half months into a long-distance relationship.

For most people, keeping the relationship alive through the distance is just too exhausting. I know myself how frustrating it is to experience a special moment without that special person by your side. At the same time, I have to say that it was a good experience because we made it through the months of being apart in two different countries, on two different continents. I think it proved that our relationship is strong, but I am not sad that this time is over and we can spend time together whenever we want now.

This article was published on the Global Times Metropolitan section Two Cents page, a space for reader submissions, including opinion, humor and satire. The ideas expressed are those of the author alone, and do not represent the position of the Global Times.


blog comments powered by Disqus