Superficial expectations

By Siri Vik Source:Global Times Published: 2017/12/6 14:48:40

Lately, I have been hearing a lot of complaints from men who think women are too materialistic. Unless you have a car, a house, a promising career or you are from a wealthy family, women will never spare you a second glance. They themselves might not have any money to speak of, and yet they expect their man to cough up all the dough.

I am also hearing similar complaints from my female friends. Men, apparently, are pretty awful too. They have their heads filled with idols and supermodels, and there is no end to how big they want their girlfriends' chests to be. They themselves might not be the most handsome man in the world, but that does not stop them from wanting their potential girlfriend to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

I have a problem with both sets of complaints. Not because they are untrue, but because of to whom the complaints are addressed - very rarely do you get any specific names. More often the culprit is the other sex in its entirety. This is making false distinctions because women demanding that their suitors have a house lined up and men demanding potential girlfriends have a perfectly symmetrical face are two sides of the same coin. In both cases, it is absurd for one person to have unrealistically high expectations for the other person and to blame the opposite sex for something members of their sex also do.

It also breeds mutual resentment and distrust between sexes, which can create a multitude of problems in society. After all, how can we expect men and women to commit to healthy relationships and treat each other right if they suspect certain character flaws to be inherent in the other sex on a deeper level? It is perfectly normal to feel angry and frustrated in the face of unrealistic expectations. But if we really want to change things, then the easiest and quickest way to do that would be to start with ourselves.

If you have a receding hairline, don't complain about someone else's flat chest. If you can't afford a house, then don't expect that your partner should. We can't force other people to expect less of us, but we can have more realistic expectations of others. That would be a much more productive and helpful way of dealing with our frustration and anger than demonizing the opposite sex.

This article was published on the Global Times Metropolitan section Two Cents page, a space for reader submissions, including opinion, humor and satire. The ideas expressed are those of the author alone, and do not represent the position of the Global Times.


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