Illustration: Liu Rui/GT

The newly released Beijing Population Development and Study Report reveals that more than half the families in Beijing have fewer than three members. The birth rate has not increased since it dropped under 10 percent in 1991. 

The traditional structure of the Chinese family is gradually being replaced by what we call DINK - Double income, no kids. It is a bit sad to see that the traditional Chinese family with four or five generations is fading out. The day is not far when it will become history.

At the same time, the number of people who graduated from colleague or university has risen from 33 percent in 2010 to 37 percent in 2017. It is shocking to see fewer and fewer young people desirous of having children, while more and more get better education.

Our tradition has been challenged by modernization, new lifestyle, and rapid development. Caught between personal freedom and family responsibility, younger people prefer to delay having children.

Apparently, individual growth is more important for many young people than having a family. They have more choices to spend their leisure and marriage is nowhere in the list of priorities. Travelling, working out at the gym, beauty treatments, social networking, higher education and other activities occupy their single lives, keeping marriage out of sight.

Living amid fierce competition, people would like to secure their financial position before they get married. Besides, the youth crave more for love than a life partner. Most youngsters who grew up in a one-child family never had the opportunity of living with a sibling and learning how to compromise. Hence they do not know how to manage conflicts or disagreements with a spouse. In metropolitan life, a stable and long-term relationship is a challenge for many because it is easy to be displaced by the "next one".

Furthermore, growing up with China's family planning policy, many of us have accepted this family model as standard. Even if a couple wants to have a second child now, the high cost of raising kids is a deterrent.

The popularity of the Japanese game, Traveling Frog, vividly shows the youth's attitude toward becoming parents. Produced by Japanese game company Hit-Point, the game gives the player a chance to raise the young one of a frog as a pet on the smartphone.

The game stimulates young people's desire to be parents by requiring players to take care of their baby frogs, feeding them, dressing them up and packing up for the trip. Various activities around the pet have been designed to make people simulate parenthood, which led to a huge demand.

Social media lets the "frog parents" share their experience. Female users like to dress up their pets as "model frogs" by purchasing skin care cosmetics, makeup, clothes, while male users "train" baby frogs to become "cool sons." It shows the propensity among young people to be parents.

It might sound cool to be single or have a modern family without kids. The reality is many people in their 20s or even 30s don't know how to go about household chores, or are afraid to take up family responsibility. They behave like children and refuse to grow up.

Even if young people want to have children, fertility among Chinese is a serious concern. China might be in the midst of a sperm crisis. Research shows that Chinese men produce less sperm in their semen. Infertility caused by exposure to pollution and chemicals is faced by both the sexes.

Survey shows that the total fertility rate in northeastern provinces is among the lowest in the world and was even considerably lower than in Japan, a country with a large aging population.

We are often confused about what we want in life. But it is important to understand that what is good for our future does not necessarily mirror the trend.

Though we revel in the glamour of a single's life, there are moments that make it remorseful - the dark evening, festival seasons - when we yearn for the desire to be loved. It is what families could provide.

Indeed, the government should provide more facilities that ensure a better support system for the youth who like to worry less about having children and taking responsibility at a young age.

Though the traditional Chinese concept of family values should be encouraged, it cannot be enforced. The freedom to decide whether to have children or not is a sign of social progress.

The author is a Beijing-based journalist. She lived in Sydney from 2014 to 2016. opinion@globaltimes.com.cn