Who's gone from hero to zero this week in Beijing? Who has the halo of goodness shining above their heads, and whose dastardly deeds have plumbed the depths of depravity?
Hero of the week
NZ teacher loses his cool
A New Zealand teacher aged in his 60s made a splash at a swimming pool in Jinan, Shandong Province when he threw a discourteous 5-year-old girl into the water. Surrendering to the temptation millions of people feel every day, he hurled the child into the pool, we like to think, face first.
Since China introduced its one-child policy more than 30 years ago, many parents have lavished attention meant for 26 kids on their single, bawling brat.
The result is several generations of obnoxious, poorly behaved little emperors who everyone wishes they could hurl into a large body of water.
The child's incensed, near-psychotic grandmother was shocked that her daughter had managed to fall into the water while at a public swimming pool, and claims the experience left her daughter depressed.
These claims allowed her to receive 20,000 yuan ($3,148) in compensation from the Kiwi, who recently recovered from heart surgery.
Villain of the week
Canteen heist leader
Authorities in Renshou county, Sichuan Province are reviewing the case of a woman who took food from the tightly-sealed mouths of local government officials.
The 56-year-old lunch thief, Huang Manyun, had been involved in a land dispute which, much to her dissatisfaction, the local government had quite happily put to bed.
Huang, upset over the outcome, allegedly led 20 local villagers to the government's head office and raided the canteen.
Huang insisted that when they went to the canteen, she had the cook's permission. She told the cook she didn't have enough money and promised to pay him after the dispute was over.
The starving officials were forced to go and eat outside and Huang was arrested and detained for 15 days.
In another blow for officials this week, shark fin soup was banned from government banquets.