Confused about China? Having trouble making sense of Beijing and its people? Our guru, Auntie Wang, is here to bridge the cultural divide with candid answers to your most challenging questions about life in the capital.
Q: Dear Auntie Wang:
When a Chinese person says in a complimentary fashion that someone has put on weight, does this mean they have become fat or that they were simply too thin before? In the West, saying this would cause someone to go on a crash diet. Does it mean something different here?
A: Take it any way you want. If you are like most modern young women, you probably think you are too fat no matter what other people say.
After all, it's only natural for a perfectly proportioned woman to declare war on her weight. Heaven knows how often I hear a rail-thin girlfriend complain: "I'm so fat. I want to lose weight!"
You would probably go on a diet to maintain your figure even if the other person paying you a compliment says: "You've lost weight." Heck, a fair proportion of the population is probably already on a diet anyway.
What I'm trying to say is if you are the kind to care or obsess about your weight and body image, you are pretty much doomed no matter what. Of course, we have society to blame for this problem. People shouldn't feel that happiness is intrinsically linked to how big their backside appears in a pair of pants.
It is indeed considered a good thing to put on weight in China, especially among those who have traditional values.
We have an auspicious euphemism for putting on weight or growing a little stout: fafu, literally to "receive good fortune." We think it's a blessing when someone puts on weight. It's not too hard to understand because not everybody can afford to eat all they want and lay around all day without working.
Observing someone's rounder figure is a compliment not so much attributed to their body, but at their leading of a comfortable and affluent life.
You should also know that parents like to see their kids, even teenagers, put on some weight. After all, it shows they are good to their offspring and feed them well.
Back when I was a teenager, all my aunts and uncles would accuse me of being too thin and encourage me to eat more. As the fool that I was/still am, I listened.
Of course, times are changing. It's almost an insult today to say someone has gained weight, even if you think it's a blessing. The next time you want to pay someone a compliment, you might want to try: "You look like a skeleton!"
Since so many Chinese people have caught up with the Western world to now worship thinness and embrace commercial gimmicks, I doubt anyone would have the audacity to call you "fat" to your face.
If they do somehow say that you've put on weight and they don't seem stupid or aren't the mean-spirited type who are just trying to hurt you, then you can rest assured that you look fine and probably could gain a kilogram or two without worry.