Q: Dear Uncle Wang,

Although China is generally thought of as a very patriarchal society and one in which men "rule the roost," a recent survey has found that more than 40 percent of Shanghai wives, control their family's purse strings.

Why do Shanghainese women enjoy such a strong position in their marriages?

A: In China, Shanghai men are often derogatively referred to as pa laopo, which means "afraid of wives."

In short, Shanghainese women have a reputation for being bossy, domineering and totally pandered to by their husbands.

And Shanghainese men have an almost universal reputation for showing total obedience to their wives, mothers and mothers-in-law.

Because of this, Shanghainese men are considered to be "great" husbands, who uncomplaining do the housework, cooking and cleaning.

Often, men and women from other provinces say that Shanghainese men are too "soft," not manly enough, and are unable to stand up to their wives and that this is mainly the reason why women control their marriages and oversee the family finances.

Some Shanghai husbands give almost all their monthly salaries to their wives, while receiving only "pocket money" in return.

It is also very rare to hear about instances of domestic violence among Shanghainese couples.

Married couples in Shanghai are often said to live in a "harmonious" atmosphere and to have very few quarrels or fights.

It is also widely believed that Shanghainese women are more independent than women from other parts of China. Their educational backgrounds are generally better and their salaries are among the highest in the country.

The same research found that 36.8 percent of women polled in eight cities including Shanghai, Beijing, Guangzhou, Wuhan, Chengdu and Shenyang have a higher income than their husbands, which might be another reason why they have more say in deciding how the family finances are controlled.

Many people believe that the differences between Shanghainese men and women and those from other parts of China might be linked to the city's greater, and longer, exposure to other cultures and the fact that Shanghai is generally regarded as the earliest "international" city in China.

Shanghai men, goes the argument, have learned the courtesy of Western gentlemen and have learned how to treat women with respect.

Similarly, Shanghai women have learned the independence and strong-mindedness commonly associated with Western women.

Please send your cultural questions about China to twocents-sh@globaltimes.com.cn