He touched down in Guangzhou in summer of '09

To seal his ailing company's merger.

With a Chinese tycoon he would wine and dine

Hoping to take their cooperation further.

He did his homework, or so he thought

At Cantonese restaurants in Connecticut.

But little did he know, for he hadn't been taught

About China's complex dining etiquette.

His stomach grumbled before the culinary binge

When a fish arrived marinated in spice.

But suddenly his host appeared to cringe

At the sight of upright chopsticks in rice.

Business was discussed over dish after dish

As the host loudly cleared his throat.

Our foreign friend had turned over the fish

And unwillingly capsized the boat.

Another golden rule broken by the Yankee

Was tapping his bowl with a spoon.

This deed made his Chinese cohort quite cranky

And cast the other as a begging buffoon.

Sensing he needed to extend a kowtow

He filled his host's glass with warm beer.

"Here's to our future," he blurted over Tsingtao

Clinking his glass far too high in the "cheers."

A roasted suckling pig was next to be plundered

With the tycoon doling portions on both plates.

"Does he think I'm a baby?" the American wondered

Writing it off as an innocent mistake.

The guest ordered some tea from a fine selection

As talks focused on the acquisition.

But the teapot's spout pointed in his host's direction 

In yet another blow to Chinese dining tradition.

The table was gripped by an awkward chill

When the host hissed at a waiter "maidan!"

Insisting the pair split the bill

The guest smiled like they'd just had great fun.

The pair parted ways the following day

The foreigner was picked up by his car.

There would be no takeover, the tycoon was sorry to say

Without alluding to his companion's dining faux pas.