Illustration: Peter C. Espina/GT

What is a perfect match? Foreigners always stress that the man and the woman love each other and have many things in common like favorite books or songs. When it comes to China, people in old times would emphasize that the two should have families of equal social standing. Now the principle still applies, and there's something more: Their appearance should match as well.

A post circulating online recently may discourage Chinese men. The article, titled "Chinese men don't match Chinese women," blamed Chinese men for being sloppy and wretched while Chinese women are always decently dressed and look elegant and glamorous.

The article aroused debate on both traditional and social media. A Guangzhou-based newspaper conducted an online survey and got over 1,200 respondents within a few hours. Among female respondents, who made up two-thirds of the total, 60 percent supported the article, while 70 percent of male respondents strongly objected.

Admittedly, it is often the case that women pay much more attention to their appearance than men. The clothing and accessory industries provide more choices for women who wear makeup, style their hair and wear fashionable clothes.

A survey done by Consultant Bain & Co on 2013 figures shows that nearly 70 percent of women are working outside the home, much higher than the 53 percent global average, encouraging more fashion houses to design for Chinese women.

This also coincides a trend in Chinese society: As society develops, the outdated notion that women are subordinate to men has gradually faded away, and equality between men and women has been stressed more than ever before. Chinese women are seeking political, economic and social fields. This inevitably requires women to look good by the outside world.

I remember a "joke" that especially describes the wave of female migrant workers around the Spring Festival: Most of them give themselves with English names such as Judy or Mary as they work in the central business district of Beijing, adding an international flavor to their social status. But when they return home, they will return to their original identity, be it Xiaofang or Cuihua, common "vulgar" names for girls in China.

The "joke" was intended to mock supposed vanity. But at least, it shows the Chinese women can adapt to the changing social environment and make themselves a place.

Some Chinese men have argued that if Chinese women only attach importance to men's wealth and men shouldering more responsibilities in feeding the family and paying for the house, men will feel too pressured to spend time on their appearance.

This sounds true as well. A male friend of mine recently came back from the UK after acquiring his PhD degree. He said he would like to find a job in Beijing and look for a girlfriend. I reminded him, "You need a job with a fairly good salary and you'd better think of buying a house. It helps when you pursue a girl." My words depressed my friend, who said he would rather not have come back.

I realized my words sounded snobbish. But they were not untrue. And it is the reality all women and men have to face in big cities like Beijing and Shanghai.

Maybe Chinese men feel a lack of motivation to change themselves. But if women are going to hold themselves to high standards, they're going to get even tougher in picking their men. Keeping up appearances will be a compulsion, not a choice.

The author is a reporter with the Global Times. wangwenwen@globaltimes.com.cn