As attitudes evolve, progress can be achieved on same sex marriages

By Linda Xu Source:Global Times Published: 2014-9-15 18:38:01

I attended a special wedding anniversary celebration recently. It was held by a gay couple. They neither have a legal marriage license nor did they get "married" in public, but they have been known as an openly gay couple among their intimate friends for 16 years.

The party was private. The two men, wearing matching rings, blended in perfectly with their straight friends. They pledged they wouldn't separate until death. All attendants, both heterosexual and homosexual, felt happy for them and wished them the best.

Compared with advancements in same sex rights in other countries, China lags far behind. But now there is more tolerance and acceptance of homosexuality in China, especially in big cities and among young people.

Earlier this month, wedding photos of a British diplomat and his American boyfriend in Beijing went viral on Weibo. The post drew thousands of comments, with the vast majority of the commentators congratulating the couple. One netizen encouraged more same sex couples to come out and announce their unions, pushing forward the legalization of same sex marriage in China.

My gay friend and his mate are also hoping to cement their relationship by getting a legal marriage license, so that they can enjoy all the rights of married straight couples. However, China still has a long way to go in terms of homosexual acceptance and legalization of same sex marriage.

In many places of the country, especially the vast rural areas, gay and lesbian couples are still stigmatized. They are considered sick, shameless and dirty, and as a result, millions of homosexual people have migrated to urban areas to be the people they really are.

Besides, although some gays or lesbians confess their sexual orientation to friends, they don't come out to their parents unless the parents are very liberal.

Many Westerners think Chinese homosexuals don't undergo extreme pressure, since there are no religious prohibitions on sexuality. However, Chinese homosexuals don't have it easy in a country where family is everything. My gay friend hasn't come out to his parents yet, although he and his mate have secretly lived together for years.

The past year has witnessed great progress in same sex rights in some Western countries such as the UK and the US. Many same sex weddings took place after gay marriage became legal, which is inspiring in China.

Will the legalization of same sex marriage come to China? There is still no sign of this. But we could be optimistic and become more open to embracing progress. At least, compared to years ago, China has made strides in tolerance and acceptance of homosexuality, and there is actually increasing public awareness of gay marriage in China.

A few activists have been striving for pushing forward homosexual rights. It won't be an easy task and will take time. I am not discriminating against gays or lesbians, and I hope you won't either.

Linda Xu, a white-collar employee based in Beijing

Posted in: Viewpoint

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