Bio parents just as likely to commit abuse

Source:Global Times Published: 2015-4-13 22:23:01

The news that a mother from Nanjing in East China's Jiangsu Province physically abused her adopted son has stirred up a public debate about children education in China. Pictures of the nine-year-old boy with bloodstains and bruises on his back and legs went viral online earlier this month.

According to the boy, his adoptive mother beat him with rope for telling a lie and failing to finish his homework. The mother, a well-educated journalist, has now been detained by Nanjing police. The child was sent back to his biological parents but he expressed his willingness to continue living with his adoptive mother who he said, treated him quite well in everyday life.

The simultaneous appearance of such phrases as "adoptive parents," "senior intellectuals," and "child abuse" in a media report would inevitably infuriate the public. Almost all public opinion has swung one-sidedly to attack the adoptive parents, one a journalist and the other a lawyer.

Net users have even begun to argue what kind of parents are qualified to adopt children. They tend to believe that it is natural and normal for biological parents to beat their children but firmly object to adoptive parents doing so.

Most Chinese people are quite sensitive about the word "adoption" and always hold a biased attitude toward adoptive parents.

In actuality, most Chinese parents are accustomed to using strict means to treating "naughty" children. As a Chinese proverb goes, "The more your parents love you, the more severely they scold you." In their mind, "stick parenting" contributes to children's growth and makes them more competitive. Every child psychology association in the developed world, however, condemns corporal punishment.

That's why the "Tiger Mother" and "Eagle Dad" sparked a public controversy both at home and abroad.

In her tongue-in-cheek memoir Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Amy Chua recounted her experience of raising her two daughters in what she claimed to be a traditional Chinese style. The Yale Law School professor and bestselling author charted unbending rules for her daughters Sophia and Lulu, including hours of piano or violin practice, strict bans on attending sleepovers, having playdates, playing computer games and taking extracurricular activities, as well as punishment once they got any grade less than an A or failed to meet other high expectations. "Self-control, discipline, resilience. I got that from my parents," Chau said.

The tough parenting approach, though solicited wide criticism, pushed Sophia who had once been called "garbage" by her mother to Carnegie Hall at a young age of 14. However, on a Wall Street Journal article headlined "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior" many left messages that Chau was guilty of child abuse while some others applauded her demanding methods.

The "Eagle Dad" provides another pertinent case when He Liesheng, a 44-year-old teacher majoring in education, forced his four-year-old son to jog naked in heavy snow. Designing a rigorous training schedule, he intended to improve the intellectual development of his son who was born premature because "when the old eagle teaches its young, it takes the young eagles to the cliff side, beats them and pushes them to teach them to use their wings."  His ideas are dangerous nonsense condemned by pediatricians and child psychologists alike, but he nevertheless received support online.

Similarly, the adoptive mother in Nanjing may also believe in "stick parenting." If she is the biological mother of the boy, how would the public react?

So media and public opinion should not overstress the identity of the mother, but take a fair stand against child abuse both by biological and adoptive parents.

Mable Wang, a freelance writer based in Beijing

Posted in: Letters

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