Photo: IC

"They say that many couples from the 1980s generation are either divorced or are on their way to getting divorced. I think I might join that group soon," Xiao Mei (pseudonym), a 26-year-old woman from Beijing, told the Global Times.   Xiao Mei met her husband - who is 6 years older than her - in March 2014 and they tied the knot in November. However, the newlyweds have twice gone to the Beijing Municipal Civil Affairs Bureau to apply for a divorce in the past six months. 

"The first time we went to the bureau, we were taken to a room where a staff member persuaded us not to make a hasty decision, so we went home. The second time we stepped into the building, my husband ran away," she said. "But I am still tired of the endless quarrels and cold war. We may finally divorce when the next fight comes." 

Xiao Mei is just one of 220 million people who were born between 1980 and 1989, a group that statistics show is the main force  contributing to China's increasing divorce rate. 

According to the Ministry of Civil Affairs, over 3.6 million couples got divorced last year, 3.9 percent more than in the previous year. It was the 12th year of continuous growth.

A survey conducted by two judges at the Shanghai No.2 Intermediate People's Court showed that in all of the 200 couples who came to the court to get a divorce in 2011 and 2012, at least one partner was born in the 1980s. It also found that 26 percent of them applied for a divorce within two years of getting married and over 40 percent applied for a divorce after three years.

Experts pointed out that the generation's view of marriage differs from their parents', their pursuit of individualism, the popularity of social network applications and the country's more flexible policies contributed to the high divorce rate of this group.

'I do not want to make do'

Xiao Mei said that the financial gap between her and her husband's family is a major problem for their marriage.

"We are always divided on how to spend money and it reduced my happiness. Such divergence also leads to differences in our value systems, leading to quarrels. I think I cannot not fix the problem as we were raised in a different environment," she said.

Xiao Ning, 27, divorced her husband after just one month of marriage as she found out he was having affairs with other girls. "I do not want to make do with my marriage. When I felt that I was not suitable for him, it might be better for us to split up," she said.

Xiao Ning used to be a playwright and she gave up her career in Beijing to live with her husband in Shanghai. However, the good times did not last long.

"Previously, people regarded divorce as something humiliating. They preferred maintaining the status quo to resorting to divorce. The 1980s generation are more open-minded and don't think that it is a bad choice," Ren Chao, a divorce lawyer at the Beijing-based Jingxiang Law Firm, told the Global Times.

"The 1980s group were the first generation influenced by China's family planning policy. With many being the only child, they grew up in a favorable environment and lacked the sense of sharing and endurance. Therefore, they are more likely to divorce due to personality clashes," a Jiangsu-based marriage registrar surnamed Wei told the Global Times.

Small things could easily break them up, she said. "For example, one couple sought a divorce because they had an argument about which one should prepare milk for their baby."

Easy come, easy go

Couples like Xiao Ning who divorced quickly are common among the 1980s generation.

Olympic champion hurdler and former world record holder Liu Xiang, 32, announced Thursday that he and his wife Ge Tian had split. The two fell in love in May 2014 and were married in September.

A professor was quoted by China Newsweek magazine as saying that he knows of an 1980s couple that got married and divorced just 25 minutes later.

"When marriage is no longer a sacred promise, people tend to end their relationship at will. Some couples still lived together after they divorced and some remarried a few days later," said Wei. 

According to her, the parents of 1980s-generation children failed to impart traditional family values and they also tended to interfere in the lives of their offspring, which led to the high divorce rate. Some couples got divorced because their parents have different opinions on wedding ceremonies, with most disputes centered around money.

Xiao Mei is a typical example. "I regret not choosing a man that comes from a family of equal economic status. His parents have always tried to gain some advantages from my family and he always acquiesced to their demands," said Xiao Mei.

Ren added that extra-marital affairs are also a major reason for divorce. He said that as the 1980s generation live in a more wealthy, open and information-based society, they face various temptations, especially given the rapid development of social networking applications. "If husbands cheat, 50 percent of women will choose to forgive them, however, if wives cheat, their husband will definitely file for divorce," said Ren.

"The marriage registration regulations on one hand guarantee people's right to divorce, but also make it convenient for rash people to get a quickie divorce," said Wei.

Previously, couples who wanted to divorce had to get a certificate from their companies or communities, which was very time consuming. While now they just need to go to the marriage registration office and wait for a few minutes. 

However, Wei said that the country doesn't need to worry about the high divorce rate among the 1980s generation as most divorced couples are aged between 30 and 45.

Ren said that a growing divorce rate might be not a bad thing. For those who cannot tolerate their lives together or cannot make do with their marriage, divorce may be a good choice to restart their journey.