The night when Shanghai’s ghouls and boys come out to play

By Adam Skuse Source:Global Times Published: 2015-11-5 18:08:01

Halloween decorations on display at a Shanghai market Photo: IC

Spooks, ghouls, guys dressed as chicks - sure, all these things can be found around the drinking dens of Shanghai any night of the week. But that doesn't make Halloween any less special.

This year, the foulsome festival fell on a weekend, meaning revellers were even more willing to cut loose and get into the spirit of things.

The Global Times dusted off its crucifix and braved the streets to ask the denizens of the night about their Halloween festivities.

Flesh Gordon, fright lieutenant, British Empire

Being a zombie airman is like being a dog in season, both my zombie side and pilot side crave flesh and the darker activities but for very different reasons. As such, Halloween is perfect.

I start with a flight over the graveyards of Shanghai (Minhang and Pudong) to see where the full dead live. Next I stop for some chou doufu to remind myself that there is something more hideous than my rotting wounds, and then on to a club, where warm, moist flesh is everywhere and being a zombie is no hindrance.

After a few glasses of bai jiu, which is the fuel of zombies and others either half dead or alive but wanting to die, I whisk off a sexy nurse for the pilot in me and a lady vampire for my zombie side to raise the dead!

Elaine Xiaolongbao (left), basket case, the US

We've got a lot of skin in the Halloween game, so on that night, we took care to perfect 16 equal folds before heading out. Completely juiced up, we rolled our way over to Yongkang Road and boy was it a basket case! We delivered ourselves out of there before soup could spill.

At a local bar Kulou we shimmied to some of our favourite songs ("She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck" and "Shake your bao baos, shake your bao baos") - it was a real steamer of a night! You could say we drank our fair share of bam-booze and dim sum. Let me tell you, our heads were pretty ginger the next morning.

Andrea, circus performer, the US

I am a professional circus performer. Some people think that seems glamorous. In reality it means I show up at random places and do whatever people ask me to do on stage for money. This Halloween it meant performing fire, contortions and sideshow with my friend and fellow performer, who is a little person, in a nightclub in Chengdu. The night of our show I put on my usual makeup and they said, "It's not scary enough." I said, "You told me 'burlesque.'" They said, "Yeah, but Halloween burlesque!" So I smeared my makeup all around on my face and they said, "We love it!"

After the show my manager, who had gotten really drunk by then, exclaimed to me that now I can brag that I've performed at the "best nightclub in Chengdu." Later our driver added that I was the "second most beautiful foreigner" to ever perform there.

The Sunday morning after Halloween I woke up to the smell and sound of my midget friend chain smoking and farting in the bed next to me. "How can one tiny person generate so much horrible wind?" I thought, as I pulled the blankets over my face and tried to pretend they were a filter.

My point is, kids, dreams really do come true.

Viking Steve, pillager, Scandinavia

I am Viking Steve! Prince of Valhalla! Guardian of the Planet Earth! Winner of the 2015 Pantene Pro-V Sexiest Hair Contest! Behold!

This Halloween, I took my 4-year-old son trick-or-treating. When the fools at a nearby village denied us our sweet candy, we burned their house to the ground!

Then we went to Viking Wallmart to buy giant bags of Skittles and Sour Patch Kids. When the cashier refused to honor my coupons because they were expired, I said: "I understand, and apologize for the mistake...." Then I sliced his arms off! Hahahahaha!

Yoda MTV Raps, spiritual consultant, Dagobah

Throw your hands in the air, hold your claps, it's Yoda MTV Raps! Always thinking about the next jam, the youth of today are, never of the fresh beats rumbling the trunk of your car. Clouded are their minds, weak are their rhymes. Once, a promising young Padawan by the name of Fresh Prince, know him I did. Strong was the Force, but he was just a kid. His thirst for glory, overwhelming it was. Over he went to the dark side, cuz. Became Man in black he did, 'twas silly. Learn from this example of Big Willy! Now excuse me you must, as some slick jams I bust.

Optimus Prime, logistics manager, Cybertron

Work's been getting to me a lot lately. People think it must be glamorous being a film star, but the schedule is gruelling. Sure, the early days of my career were a lot more tame, when I had roles like stand-in rig for Smokey and the Bandit. A lot of downtime on set.

I got to work with Burt Reynolds a couple of times. Nice guy, but he had a tendency to ride my clutch. Anyway, far more relaxing than these days. Michael Bay is an exacting director and getting those fast-moving action shots right can take ages. Although I don't see why we have to be precise, with all those incoherent camera moves he loves so much, it's not like anyone can tell what's happening.

Ric Flair (left), wrestler, the US

Woo! I'm Ric Flair! I love Halloween! And more importantly, Halloween loves me! Let me go on record! I have the style and profile! I want to tell the whole world that pal, tonight, right here, it's Ric Flair! To beat the man, you gotta be a man! And I'm the man! I'm standing here, in all this magnificence, but in about 30 minutes I'm going to be sliding out of all this magnificence and showing some of the ladies here a wild time. Ric Flair! I am Ric Flair! Believe it!

Posted in: Metro Shanghai, City Panorama

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