Can cross-cultural romance ever be successful?
- Source: Global Times
- [00:08 February 12 2010]
- Comments
Dan Ben-Canaan, an Israeli professor at Heilongjiang University
It takes two to tango
The contradiction of our time and space is that although the world has become a global village, there are still many borders that stretch wider, separating cultures, traditions, languages and people.
Within such a world, can cross-cultural romance – a form of interactivity between two members of disparate cultural groups – survive cultural boundaries?
The simple answer is yes. It is simple because romance is merely a love affair experienced in a certain time and set in a temporary space.
It has to do with dreams, moods, and assumptions, expectations based on stories, films and television series, admiration for independence, physical looks, sweet talks and emotional blindness.
Romance is only the beginning to a process that may, or may not, lead to a lasting relationship. The question of cross-cultural relationships surviving cultural boundaries is difficult to answer because of the complexity.
While it is easy to jump into a romance, maintaining a relationship is harder and requires more attention. This is true in any bond between two people, but it is a necessity in cross-cultural relationships.
Someone once said that foreigners are known for falling in love with Chinese. This goes the other way around as well. Chinese love to fall in love with foreigners. It is the lust for the imagined that first attracts an outsider to a Chinese partner, and vice versa.
There are more unsuccessful cross-cultural relationships than successful ones. The successful courtships require hard work in order to produce a positive and lasting outcome. Most couples are not ready for the challenge; they just want to have fun.
It takes hard work to avoid misunderstandings that are the main reason for separation. It requires a willingness to be modest, to overcome difficult cultural barriers and conflicting traditions.
It takes readiness to be in constant focus, to follow an agreed language, a set of special communicating tools that are unique for one couple but not for another. It calls for dealing with reality, for much patience and tolerance, and especially for respecting each other's differences. It takes two for a harmonious dance.
