Bad manners cheapen the quality of all our lives

• Source: Global Times
• [21:13 September 05 2010]
• Comments

People rarely say "excuse me" or "my mistake," and I wonder if this is perhaps related to the elusive concept of "face," and that apologizing might be seen as the same as admitting some kind of inferi-ority, when of course it's really just the opposite.

Good manners help life to go more smoothly, help people to get along, ease tensions and require so little effort. I know that I'm becoming more aggressive and confrontational and losing my patience.

If I'm standing in line waiting to have my produce weighed at the scales in the gro-cery store, and someone butts in front of me and plops their carrots down on the tray as if they don't see me and didn't know that I was there first - well, let's just say that I've sent some carrots flying in my time. I'd prefer not to, but Miss Manners says sometimes enough is enough.

When I first arrived in Asia 12 years ago, I took a ride on the MTR in Hong Kong. The crowds were pushing their way to the escalator, everyone for themselves. I held them back for a moment and allowed an old woman to proceed ahead of me on the escalator since no one else would.

As we headed down she slowly turned around, looked up at me, and gave me a long slow bow of her head in a gesture of thanks, smiling beneficently.

She was like a tiny Buddha sharing a great secret, but there are too many days when I struggle to remember the purity of that smile.

The author is a Guangdong-based freelance writer, editor and marketing consultant from the US. christopherw314@gmail.com