To return or not to return: that is the question

• Source: Global Times
• [10:55 June 18 2009]
• Comments

Women are usually good at adapting to the new environment, and thus have more choices in terms of jobs and spouses. Also, the Western tradition of respecting women makes the female students’ overseas experience far more pleasant than the male’s.

Many couples have worked hard in the US, built up a career and settled down there. But they disagree strongly over whether to come back or not. Generally speaking, the man wants to return and the woman doesn’t.

Imagine a Chinese couple. They study at an Ivy League university, work at big companies with top-notch salaries, live in a villa and send their kids to private schools. In other words, they have realized the “American dream.”

But years later, the husband becomes restless, unsatisfied with his career. Of course, personalities and capabilities play a role here, but the major reason is the cultural difference.

First-generation immigrants, unless they start their own business, often find it difficult to blend into big companies. Even if you speak impeccable English, culture still gets in the way of communication.

The glass ceiling in Western companies doesn’t exist only for men. But women in the management team usually have an advantage. Charms can make up for some small mistakes, whereas the same mistakes for men might be magnified.

The most fundamental difference between them is their understanding of a good life. A well-off and happy family is enough for a woman. But for a man, happiness is more than a high income and a big house, but also the intangible things, like respect.

Under the circumstances, a changing China of endless opportunities appeals to their sense of belonging and inspires their dreams.

Some wives are opposed to their husbands’ return, not because the women love their country less, but because they love the comfortable and stable life more.

The author is a cultural critic. This article was translated by Xuyang Jingjing