‘Leftover women’ tap into gay best friends

By Tiara Lin Source:Global Times Published: 2012-12-13 21:15:14


Illustration: Peter C. Espina
Illustration: Peter C. Espina  

Hey girls! Still can't find the perfect Mr Right to bring to upcoming Christmas parties? Go and grab a gay man! He is fun, supportive, caring and trustworthy. He is like your stylist handbag, your must-have accessory.

Having a gay best friend (GBF) has become a new trend among China's sheng nü (leftover women), a term that is widely used to describe educated women over the age of 27 who are still single.

It is probably at the age of 27 that you don't really want to be seen alone anywhere. To avoid those pitiful looks, a GBF's male companionship is all you need. Without the fear of betrayal and getting knocked up, he simply makes your life easier.

Who says men and women can't be just friends? Well, when one is gay or lesbian. Sex and the City characters Carrie Bradshaw and Stanford Blanch probably paved the way for China's GBF phenomenon by proving a stylish girl can have a "gay boyfriend," or more than one.

I have three. Having three "gay boyfriends" doesn't make you a whore, it makes you Ms Popular. We have a lot of fun together, we make each other laugh and we talk about sex frankly.

I met GBF No.1, Michael, when I was 28. He had been a great company during my own rumspringa, an Amish teenager's period of experimentation and freedom from religious rules. Together with Michael, I had done a lot of crazy things and crashed some outrageous parties.

I share GBF No.2, Ennis, with another Chinese woman in her 30s. Honestly, gay or straight, we women just enjoy the presence of a well-built man.

Ennis is a great dancer. The reason straight women love dancing at gay bars is because we don't want guys to hit on us. But sometimes some guys just cross the line despite your big, hand-painted "no trespassing" sign. In this case, Ennis is always a useful man.

To return the favor, from time to time I pretend to be his girlfriend to attend his gatherings with relatives and co-workers. After all, we are all "faking it."

My GBF No.3 is an adorable young man called Danny. He is like a little brother to me. We meet at least twice a week and talk about anything, mainly men and romance. Despite differences in sexuality, the fundamental thing is that all GBFs think like men. Danny gives me valuable insight into how men think.

I know, I know. I have gone too far. I spend more time at gay bars than regular bars. I meet my gay boyfriends more often than my straight friends. I surround myself too much with my gorgeous GBFs that I have little time or interaction with straight guys. What can I say? We are leftover women. We have "magically become undesirable at 30."

Posted in: Twocents-Opinion

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