So Japan's got the Games. Well done, but the really big news is that one Japanese professor, Yasuo Hazaki, is pushing for competitive hide-and-seek to become an official sport at Tokyo 2020.
If Olympic Hide-and-Seek sounds like a Monty Python sketch, that's because it is. But the good professor is dead serious. He set up the Japan Hide-and-Seek Promotion Committee in 2010 and its 1,000 members have played the seven-a-side sport on fields as diverse as beaches, gardens and the dense woodland that make this seem like an IOC-friendly version of The Hunger Games.
Hazaki's reasoning is noble. "I want to encourage a sport for all, meaning that anyone can take part, regardless of age, gender or ability," he says.
Hide-and-seek might not test the Olympic motto of "Faster, Higher, Stronger" to its fullest, but it wouldn't be the most ridiculous event to have been featured at the Games.
Olympic tug of war lasted from 1900 to 1920, while cycle polo (1908), gliding (1936), ten-pin bowling (1988) and roller hockey (1992) all took advantage of the loophole for demonstration sports, which lasted until 1992. The 1900 Paris Games was probably the peak of niche sports, featuring cannon-shooting, fire-fighting, pigeon-racing and ballooning.
Who's to say that any of these sports are less legitimate than the ones we currently dole out medals for? (Diving? Really? Isn't it just falling gracefully?) Many people ridicule synchronized swimming but I think it's more reasonable than Rio 2016's inclusion of a golf event that likely won't attract the best players in the world. Olympic soccer is already a little silly - given that it is an Under-23 tournament with some overage dispensation; it could stand to be replaced by futsal, which tried and failed to take one of the slots vacated by baseball and softball at London 2012.
Some other sports that have made moves to join the Olympic Games include pole dancing (yes, it's apparently a sport), eSports (this means playing Starcraft II) and roller sports (blades not skates, kids). Put in this context, hide-and-seek is positively traditional.
Hide-and-seek likely won't make it to Tokyo but it's worth a shot. Some firm fan favorites have only made their debut in recent years and look like they're here to stay. Beach volleyball tickets are quite the draw but the sport only made its Olympic bow at Barcelona 1992. Who's to say hide-and-seek couldn't enjoy such status?
I'm all for a return of demonstration sports. Let the Olympic hosts highlight their regional games or, better yet, let them take us all back to the joys of the schoolyard and the childlike hope of an Olympic medal. It would last until all the athletes' mums called them in. Gold medal. Have dinner. Go to bed.
The author is a copy editor with the Global Times.
jonathanwhite@globaltimes.com.cn