Illustration: Liu Rui/GT

I live in a family where all my life has been spent under the protection of my parents. My sister and I are just like the baby birds under our parents' big wing even though we have already grown up.

Our parents' behavior stems from love; However, I disagree with their excessive care in every aspect of our life. For children, infinite care and protection sometimes mean a kind of heavy psychological burden. I once disputed with my father. At that time, I wanted to neither hurt my father's feelings nor go against my own wishes. My father was astonished by my resistance and said, "I am doing this for your own good."

This is a typical excuse given by parents. The words "for your own good" control numerous children's life. There is even an online group called "parents are all evil" to complain about parents' infinite care for children.

The slogan of this group is "We are not neglecting our filial duties. All we pursue is a better life without unreasonable control and intervention from parents."

For a long time, many Chinese parents have been accustomed to keeping everything in their own hands on the grounds of protecting their children. If children reject parents' care, they even have to endure pressure and blame from others. Compared to their foreign peers, Chinese children get too much attention from their family, and therefore it takes more time for them to grow up.

Unfortunately, children cannot live under the protection and infinite care of parents forever. They have to leave home and learn how to take care of themselves independently and appropriately. If adults still rely on their parents as the 26-year-old girl in the news story did, it will not only bring the criticism from the public, but more importantly could influence their personalities and the quality of life. 

Chinese parents always say that "The last thing I want is to let my children get hurt." We can understand parents' love and care; however, to raise children with healthy and independent personalities. Even if we have to get hurt, parents should let it happen. After all, this is really doing us good.

The article was compiled by Global Times reporter Zhou Yiqun based on an interview with Zhang Rui, a civil servant in Ji'nan, East China's Shandong Province. zhouyiqun@globaltimes.com.cn


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