MICHAEL KNAPP

The Chinese attitude toward "laowai" (foreigners) is not what it used to be. I first visited China in 1995, and then came to live and work in 1998.

The way Chinese react to foreigners has changed dramatically, but at the core we're still outsiders.

On public buses and subways, Chinese used to stand and yield their seats to us. As a "foreign guest," I appreciated this, but also resented this, because the same people wouldn't give their seats to elderly and pregnant Chinese.

Hospitality toward foreigners has fluctuated through history, but today we are almost "normal" in China. We're still a novelty for people wanting to practice English, but most realize we are only human.

I stand on the subway, just like everyone else. In China's small towns, some people still point and stare, but not as intensely as they did a decade ago. Many vendors still try to rip off foreigners, but they're getting more used to our presence, and our ability to bargain.

Some Chinese still befriend foreigners only to get something in return whether it's improved English, investment capital, help going abroad, or a romantic partner. But today we also have more genuine friendships.

Some of my best friends are Chinese. We have mutual trust and respect, and our friendship isn't a front for selfish motives. Foreigners can indeed develop deep, lasting friendship with Chinese people. I've found Chinese to be loyal, long-lasting friends.

But, no matter the level of acceptance or rejection, one fact remains unchanged: We are al-ways outsiders.

"Laowai!" Strolling along China's sidewalks and alleys, we hear it every day. It's slang for "waiguoren" meaning foreigner. For those without Chinese language skills, waiguoren would directly translate "outside-of-the-country-person." It's logical, and should suffice to describe foreigners. But laowai?

A direct translation of this word reflects the true feelings of some Chinese toward foreigners. Lao, a common word meaning old, can also be used to express "old friends." In other words, friends for a long time, or always. The second half of the word means outside. Direct translation: Always outside.

Every country has racists, including the US. But, it's considered uncivil to make people feel like outsiders, especially if they've been there a long time. But, foreigners living in China, even for decades, are still "always outsiders."

The US and other "foreign" countries have plenty of discrimination; especially in the past, but how we distinguish Waiguoren is different. Chinese students are surprised when I inform them that when they study abroad most people won't call them "foreign students."

The very word "foreigner" carries a negative connotation. It's rarely said except out of dislike. Instead of "foreign student" one says "international student."

We referred to our Putonghua instructor at Indiana University as our "Chinese teacher," or simply Mrs Lee, but never the insulting "foreign teacher." It's a different attitude toward international people.

To the Chinese there are basically two kinds of people in the world: Chinese and foreigners. You are either in or out, one of us or one of them.

There is, however, a glimmer of future hope that foreigners may almost be regarded as "one of us." Not long ago, communication barriers kept us even further on the outside. When I first came to China, in many schools, students had to sign their names before visiting foreign teachers.

Veteran "foreign teachers" told of a time when Chinese students weren't allowed to visit them outside the classroom. Nowadays, in and out of class, we can talk about almost anything, anytime.

Before the Internet, the invasion of Western media, and loosening of regulations prohibiting open communication with foreigners, Chinese people had a more distorted outlook. Today Hollywood movies import a different kind of distortion of Western culture, but communication flows more freely.

Chinese going abroad wanted to stay abroad, but now more prefer to return after being educated overseas. As China's future looks brighter, there are more reasons to return.

There are also fewer reasons to percieve "foreigners" as special. As for me, it's fun being a special guest, but I look forward to a time when "laowai" is dropped from Chinese vocabulary, and we international people really are "one of us."

The author is an experienced English teacher in Beijing, author of Here They Come! Are You Ready? mdklaoshi@yahoo.com